What to Do When Someone Dies Checklist

35 Things to Do When Someone Dies

The death of a loved one is a profoundly disorienting experience. Grief washes over us in waves and makes even the simplest tasks feel monumental. In the midst of this emotional turmoil, we're often faced with a daunting list of responsibilities, legal processes, and logistical arrangements.

It's a time when clear thinking is often clouded by sorrow, and the sheer volume of "to-dos" can feel overwhelming.

This “what to do when someone dies” checklist is not meant to replace emotional support or diminish the pain of grief, but rather to provide a structured approach to the necessary tasks that must be handled following the passing of a loved one.

Immediately Following the Death

1. Confirm the death: If the death was unexpected, the very first step is to call emergency services immediately. Dispatch will guide you through basic life support if necessary and send paramedics to the scene. Do not move the body unless explicitly instructed by the 911 operator or other emergency personnel. Paramedics will officially pronounce the death. If the death was expected and the person was under medical care (e.g., hospice, hospital, etc.), follow the instructions provided by the healthcare team. They will pronounce the death and complete the necessary documentation. You'll need this paperwork for the next steps.
   
   

2. Notify immediate family: This is often the most emotionally challenging task. Prioritize notifying the spouse, children, parents, and siblings of the deceased. A personal phone call is generally the most appropriate and compassionate way to deliver this news. Be prepared to answer basic questions, but don't feel obligated to go into details if you're not ready. Offer your support and understanding during this difficult time. Consider who in the family might need to be contacted immediately versus who can be informed a little later.
   
   

3. Notify close friends and other relatives: After notifying immediate family, reach out to close friends, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and other significant individuals in the deceased's life. Again, a phone call is often preferred, but a thoughtful text or email may be appropriate depending on your relationship with the person. Be sensitive to their potential grief and offer your condolences. Provide basic information: the deceased's name, date of death, and any initial funeral arrangements if they have been made.
   
   

4. Contact the deceased's employer (if applicable): If the deceased was employed, it's essential to notify their employer as soon as possible. This will initiate any necessary paperwork related to final paychecks, accrued vacation time, life insurance benefits, and other death benefits offered by the company. Inquire about the company's policies regarding bereavement leave for colleagues. The HR department can guide you through the specific procedures.
   
   

5. Secure the property: Protecting the deceased's property is a vital step. Lock all doors and windows to prevent theft or vandalism. If you have concerns about valuable items, you may want to remove them for safekeeping. If the property is going to be unoccupied for an extended period, consider having a trusted friend, family member, or neighbor check on it regularly. This can also help deter potential problems.
   
   

6. Gather important documents: Locating essential documents is key for settling the estate. The most important document is the will, which outlines the deceased's wishes regarding their assets. Other vital documents include life insurance policies, health insurance information, bank statements, investment records, marriage certificate, birth certificate, social security card, property deeds, vehicle titles, and any pre-paid funeral arrangements. Organizing these documents will significantly streamline the estate settlement process.
   
   

7. Make funeral home arrangements (if desired immediately): It’s not the most urgent task immediately after a death, but some families find comfort in contacting a funeral home relatively quickly to begin the planning process. This can be particularly helpful if the death was expected. The funeral home can assist with transporting the body, preparing the death certificate, and discussing funeral or cremation options. However, there is no need to rush this decision if you're not ready.
   
   

Official Procedures

8. Obtain a medical certificate of death: The attending physician or hospital will provide the medical certificate of death. This is an official legal document that states the cause of death. It's essential for registering the death and obtaining death certificates. Make sure you receive the original signed copy.
   
   

9. Register the death: Contact the local registrar's office or vital records office in the county where the death occurred. You will need the medical certificate of death, identification (yours), and potentially other documents. There is usually a small fee associated with registering the death. The registrar will issue a death certificate.
   
   

10. Obtain copies of the death certificate: You will need multiple certified copies of the death certificate for various administrative tasks, such as claiming insurance benefits, closing bank accounts, transferring ownership of assets, and dealing with legal matters. It's wise to get several copies at the time of registration to avoid delays and additional fees later.
    
    

11. Notify the Social Security Administration (in the US): Report the death to the Social Security Administration. This is important for stopping benefit payments (if the deceased was receiving them) and inquiring about any potential survivor benefits. You will typically need to provide a copy of the death certificate.
    
    

12. Notify other government agencies (if applicable): Depending on the deceased's circumstances, you may need to notify other government agencies. For example, if the deceased was a veteran, contact the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) to inquire about burial benefits or other entitlements. If the deceased was receiving a pension, notify the pension provider. Other agencies may include the DMV (for canceling driver's licenses) or other relevant state or local government offices.
    
    

Funeral Arrangements

13. Decide on burial or cremation: Consider the deceased's wishes, if known, and the family's preferences regarding burial or cremation. Discuss the options with family members and make a decision that feels most appropriate. Each option has different costs and procedures associated with it.
    
    

14. Choose a funeral home (if not already done): Select a funeral home that meets your needs and budget. Consider factors such as location, services offered, and pricing. You can research funeral homes online, ask for recommendations from friends or family, or visit several funeral homes in person to compare their offerings.
    
    

15. Plan the funeral or memorial service: Decide on the date, time, location, and type of service. This might involve a traditional funeral service at a funeral home or church, a memorial service at a different location, or a more informal gathering. Consider the deceased's religious or cultural traditions and any specific requests they may have made.
    
    

16. Prepare an obituary: An obituary is a brief announcement of the death, often published in newspapers or online. It typically includes the deceased's name, age, date of death, a brief summary of their life, and funeral arrangements. Writing an obituary can be a meaningful way to honor the deceased's memory and inform the community of their passing.
    
    

17. Arrange for clergy or officiant: If desired, contact a religious leader or other officiant to conduct the funeral or memorial service. This person will typically lead the service, offer words of comfort, and personalize the ceremony to reflect the deceased's life and beliefs.
    
    

18. Select pallbearers (if applicable): If you're having a traditional funeral with a casket, you'll need pallbearers to carry the casket. These are typically family members or close friends who have been asked to take on this role of honor.
    
    

19. Organize readings and eulogies: Plan the content of the funeral or memorial service. Choose readings that offer comfort or inspiration. Decide who will deliver the eulogy. Consult the funeral director in case of confusion.
    
    

20. Arrange for flowers or other tributes: Order flowers for the funeral service or consider other memorial tributes, such as donations to a charity in the deceased's name. Many funeral homes can assist with flower arrangements or suggest appropriate charities.
    
    

21. Plan the reception or gathering (if desired): A reception or gathering after the funeral service can provide an opportunity for family and friends to share memories, offer support, and celebrate the deceased's life. This can be a formal catered event or a more casual gathering at a home or other venue.
    
    

22. Arrange transportation for the family: Consider transportation for family members traveling to the funeral, especially if they are coming from out of town. You may want to arrange for transportation from the airport or hotel to the funeral home and other venues.
    
    

Financial and Legal Matters

23. Notify banks and financial institutions: Contact all banks, credit card companies, and investment firms where the deceased held accounts. You will need to provide a copy of the death certificate to close accounts, transfer ownership, or access funds. Inquire about any payable-on-death designations or other beneficiary arrangements.
    
    

24. Contact insurance companies: Inform all life insurance companies, health insurance providers, and other insurance companies where the deceased had policies. File claims for any benefits due, such as life insurance payouts or reimbursement for medical expenses. Be prepared to provide a copy of the death certificate and other documentation.
    
    

25. Review the will: Carefully read the deceased's will to understand their wishes regarding the distribution of their assets. Identify the executor named in the will, who is responsible for administering the estate. If there is no will, the estate will be handled according to the laws of intestacy.
    
    

26. Probate the will (if necessary): Probate is the legal process of proving the validity of the will and officially appointing the executor. It's typically required if the deceased owned property or other significant assets that need to be transferred to beneficiaries. The probate process varies by state or jurisdiction, so it's often advisable to consult with a probate attorney. The executor will file the will with the probate court, and the court will oversee the administration of the estate. This includes notifying beneficiaries, publishing notices to creditors, and eventually distributing the assets.
    
    

27. Appoint an executor or administrator: The will typically names an executor, who is responsible for managing the estate. If the deceased did not leave a will (died intestate), or if the named executor is unable or unwilling to serve, the probate court will appoint an administrator to handle these duties. The executor or administrator has a fiduciary duty to act in the best interests of the estate and its beneficiaries. This includes managing assets responsibly, paying debts and taxes, and distributing the remaining assets according to the will or intestacy laws.
    
    

28. Inventory the estate: The executor or administrator is responsible for creating a comprehensive inventory of all the deceased's assets and liabilities. This includes real estate, bank accounts, investment accounts, personal property (vehicles, jewelry, furniture), life insurance policies, and any outstanding debts (mortgages, loans, credit card balances, medical bills). This inventory is an important document for the probate process and for determining the value of the estate for tax purposes.
    
    

29. Pay outstanding debts and taxes: The executor or administrator must pay all valid debts and taxes owed by the deceased before distributing any assets to beneficiaries. This includes funeral expenses, medical bills, credit card debts, mortgages, property taxes, and income taxes. Creditors typically have a specific timeframe within which to file claims against the estate. The executor must ensure that all legitimate claims are paid and that any disputed claims are resolved.
    
    

30. Distribute assets to beneficiaries: After all debts, taxes, and expenses have been paid, the executor or administrator will distribute the remaining assets to the beneficiaries named in the will. If there is no will, the assets will be distributed according to the laws of intestacy, which typically prioritize surviving spouses, children, and other close relatives. The distribution process can involve transferring ownership of real estate, distributing cash from bank accounts, and transferring securities.
    
    

31. Consider hiring a probate attorney or financial advisor: Navigating the complexities of estate settlement can be challenging, especially if the estate is large or complex. A probate attorney can provide legal guidance on the probate process, including filing necessary court documents, handling creditor claims, and resolving any disputes. A financial advisor can help manage investments and provide advice on tax implications and estate planning strategies. Although these professionals' services come at a cost, their expertise can often save time, money, and stress in the long run.
    
    

Post-Funeral and Ongoing

32. Send thank-you notes: It's customary to send thank-you notes to those who offered condolences, sent flowers, made donations, or provided other forms of support during this difficult time. A handwritten note is a thoughtful gesture that expresses your appreciation for their kindness.
    
    

33. Manage online accounts: We live in a digital age today. When you find time, manage the deceased's online accounts. This includes closing or memorializing social media accounts (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter), email accounts, and other online platforms. You may need to contact the respective companies to request account closure or memorialization. This can help protect the deceased's digital legacy and prevent identity theft.
    
    

34. Address grief and emotional needs: Grief is a natural and complex response to loss. It's essential to allow yourself time to grieve and to experience the full range of emotions that come with it. Don't try to suppress your feelings or rush the grieving process. Seek support from family, friends, or a grief counselor. Grief support groups can also be helpful in connecting with others who have experienced similar losses. Remember that there is no right or wrong way to grieve, and it's okay to ask for help when you need it.
    
    

35. Create a memorial or tribute: Creating a lasting memorial or tribute can be a meaningful way to honor the deceased's memory. This could involve making a donation to a charity in their name, planting a tree in their memory, creating a memorial website, compiling a photo album or scrapbook, or simply sharing stories and memories with family and friends. These acts of remembrance can help keep the deceased's spirit alive and provide comfort during the grieving process.

Conclusion

Losing someone close is an indescribably painful experience. It's often a time when we're forced to confront unfamiliar processes and make important decisions while navigating intense emotions at the same time. From immediate actions to long-term estate settlement, this "what to do when someone dies" checklist will give you the clarity and direction you need during an incredibly difficult time.